Consequences-The Growth Necessity
In a society that consistently refers to consequence of all kinds as a form of abuse, it bears the question, why? Because Consequence begats growth and behaviourial change for the positive. Consequences dont FEEL good, so they are prompted as abusive. Lets be honest, shall we? If Consequences were comfortable, would we retain the valuable lesson at hand? If you step off of a ledge thats far too steep, and you twist an ankle, or worse, you catalogue that. Your ENTIRE body catalogues that decision as a "DO NOT REPEAT". It is a self sustaining and necessary part of existence. If you had stepped off of the ledge with no pain to register as that decision being extremely poor, would you not step off of steeper ledges that could break your neck? Internally we rely on consequences to tell us 'No' or 'Go'. No they are not comfortable. YES our children rebel against them, until they have to implement them, themselves, to someone else they care for. But they are a necessity. You can even take this discussion to our pets. Theres a choice here. We can raise our pets with consequences and discipline for poor behaviour, clearly indicating what is and is not acceptable. In doing so, end game you end up with a balanced and well mannered pet, that is not fighting personality and behavioural issues. But, instead, gets to SHINE its personality. Who that pet is individually. Our pets become joys for ourselves, and those around us. OR, we can raise our pets with NO discipline, and end game, have a pet with issues AS their personality. We can even take this to a very simple example. If you have spent time in the woods, with little comforts around you, you realize soon, that nature itself, will dole out plenty of consequences, so that you adept to the survivability for the being that you are. In fact, nature can lend the STEEPEST consequences, up to the level of fatal. Look to how wild animals raise their young. They are VERY aware that growth is a necessity of their survival. Mothers do not hold themselves back, they STERNLY discipline their young and dole out consequences. In fact they attempt to do so, BEFORE nature itself does.
All of this being said, this propaganda to imply discipline and consequence as abusive, is deadly to our society. It is destructive to those whom we take in as our responsibilities. I believe that all of us with sound mind, can clearly distinguish where the line crosses to abusive and can easily steer clear, while implementing consequence and discipline in love. Its NOT SUPPOSED to be comfortable. Because the discomfort is what solidly catalogues itself into our minds to avoid in the future. Let us all stand up against this lie against consequence and discipline together, and for each other. Look around. Behaviours are NOT improving.
This is so, so true. I think I totally missed it with the group that has been belittling me for over 18 months now. I was just so focused on what I was doing, that I didn't take the time to provide any real world consequences. They are like children who just ramp up more and more when parents don't calm them down a bit. Overcorrection is just as bad as undercorrection!
Recognizing consequences and the lessons being presented is vital to basic survival. This was a great blog that breaks down action > consequences in easy-to-understand practical applications, whether pet training or Jesus following. Fun fact: There is a real town in New Mexico called "Truth Or Consequences" located west of White Sands Nat'l Park but that's a subject for another blog...
I love this. Consequences are part of the human experience and are to be experienced.