Ben Franklin Had The Right of It

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after 3 days.

We had as a house guest a friend of over 25 years; ex-very successful lawyer who lost his license to practice after having used his client's judgment awards to finance his cocaine habit. He did his time in jail, became "right with God" while in jail, led a very pitiful existence, and had 9 days left before he was off parole. He had been here almost two months, drinking all evening to "alleviate the pain he felt for causing so many people so much heartbreak".
His political stance ran in the other direction from ours; which was okay, because we can't all agree on everything all the time, right?
In the time he was in my home, he dissected and analyzed every statement we made; because he was, after all a psychological counselor for a couple of years. I fed him well. Made sure his clothing was clean and pressed to perfection; as he had found employment at MacDonalds as a crew chief.
Then on his down time he nocturnally surfed and downloaded every questionable thing he could find.

He downloaded so many weird-ass things to my computers, and surfed for not just porn, but fugly saggy baggy hooters and asses belonging to women at least twenty five years his senior. I'm sure his dedication to the church made him feel that looking upon any nude woman under the age of 75 would get him a fast ticket to Hell.
We had a keylogger on each computer for a couple of weeks, just to track the places he'd been in order to clear out all the spyware he'd inadvertently downloaded.

Sunday, we went out for a while and returned to find him with his bare feet propped up on the desk, using our telephone to call his mother in Philly. (Now we know why the phone bill was $50.00 more last month than usual.)
I thought Bildo was going to cut him a new asshole right then and there. It was then I invited him to get the hell out before I could do him bodily harm myself. He said he would be out by Wednesday (his payday), whether he had a place to go or not.

The next day
, I see he has been conversing with a female friend in Atlanta, and to quote,
"It's 5 a.m. and I'm 'sneaking' a moment on the computer. If you can send an e-mail, please send it by Tuesday afternoon. I will be moving (somewhere or nowhere) Wednesday.
Things have reached a boiling point here, and it is time for me to leave. I'm going out today, Monday, to search for a room to rent. If no luck there's always the Rescue Mission.”

My friends state that I'm too difficult to live with and that I've changed. So last night, when we had a discussion, I told them that 'maybe' they're right. Maybe I've got a few quirks from being alone the last 7 years, but I'm at peace and don't do drugs. "Maybe if I smoked pot and went to cocaine parties every couple weeks like y'all, then our emotions would coincide. But for now, I never know what to expect when I get off work. "It's like living on eggshells" But, for now, y'all can't see the trees for the forest'".

Why, sure, we attended coke parties every couple of weeks, and oh gawd, we smoked pot 'til we couldn't stand up.
Lying son of a bitch. I'd see him in Hell.
I packed all his shit and tossed it on the street.

I learned a few years ago he overdosed and died. Was I filled with remorse? No. I wasn't.

Over the remaining years we have brought in “stray friends” with no where else to go; and every time we've been stolen from; and endured carry on bed bugs while we nourished them with food and love.

Ben Franklin had the right of it: Visitors and Fish begin to smell after three days

Post author

All I really need is a chastity belt that connects to the internet and a pair of solar-powered garters.


  • BaRbArIaN

    10 months ago

    Once I shared a house with two others, my friend and my brother. For six months it worked, we all had jobs and paid our parts of bills. Then my friend started seeing this girl, 'Crystal'. He spent a lot of time drinking and clubbing with her, which I could care less about. He started having money problems. Oh he could still party with Crystal, and buy her 3 year old from another guy expensive xmas gifts, but timely rent and bills, not so much.

    Things escalated when we found out she was moved in with him, without talking to us or even expecting her to help with the rent and bills. It came to a head when the next phone bill came (in my name, of course). It seems Crystal was talking long distance with her mother and baby daddy in the next state over (I live on a border but then the only free calls were towns nearby). I got the stink-eye for changing the house long distance company to 1-800-COLLECT. She couldn't hold a job to save her life, getting fired for theft, non-attendance, general laziness for a few jobs. Of course they moved out and stole much of my stuff when I was working, no part of the due bills left either. They moved to FL, lived with his brother, got married and brought in a few other acquaintances for a while in sort of a white trash nest as I call it. He then divorced and remarried a few years later and had 3 girls I found out. Serves him right, I hope they become hard to live with. We found a good roomate for a while, then my brother left from his own drama. But that is another story....


  • BaRbArIaN

    10 months ago
    [comment removed]
Not Sorry Show
Unapologetic commentary, live streaming, news, and blog
dtp-sites v0.7.13
© 2023 Not Sorry Productions
Made In USA 🇺🇸